The completely reliable origin story
HE ARRIVED
BEFORE TOMORROW.
No one remembers the landing. There was no crater, no capsule, no press conference. One morning the Red Planet simply had hoofprints — four at a time — crossing a ridge that had been untouched for four billion years.
ELON TUSK followed the prints backward, declared the route “almost adequate,” and began redesigning Mars for creatures with lower centers of gravity and much higher standards for scratching posts.
His first law was simple: if a habitat works for a hog, it probably works for everyone else too.
“Mars was never empty. It was just waiting for somebody stubborn enough to call dibs.”